I recently recovered from an apparent TTC-related hormonal flux that led to heart palpitations, high anxiety (i.e. multiple panic attacks daily) and insomnia for a solid week. This wasn’t my first rodeo of wrangling the wild bull of hormones, but this felt like a different beast. Getting through it was tough but necessary. And necessity is often the mother of invention. “Whatever works” became my mantra for the rest of the week. I’m grateful to be feeling stable and steady in my body, mind and spirit today. Reflecting back, I know for sure that the following prescription is what helped me naturally restore my hormonal, physical, psychological and emotional well-being:
Embody
Express
Rest
Repeat
[Side note in the spirit of full disclosure: Doing “whatever works” may have also included a hypochondriacal visit to Urgent Care for an EKG just to confirm that I was not going to keel over from a cardiac event. The heart is strong and resilient, my friends.]
On countless occasions over the course of the aforementioned week, I found it immensely helpful to move into, focus on and feel physical sensations in my body with the support of solid ground. In other words: EMBODY. The best definitions of embodiment I’ve found comes from Merriam-Webster: “to give a body to (a spirit)” and “to cause to become a body or part of a body.” My own definition goes something like this: “to create physical form and containment within which emotions may be held, felt and dealt.” The disassociation – a frightening feeling of being cut off from or outside of the body – that often occurs with a panic episode was what I needed to remedy ASAP.
On one such occasion, the onset of heart palpitations while I tried to fall asleep led to the start of a panic attack. I was hyperventilating and spiraling out of my body. My husband stayed with me while I while I breathed into a paper bag (which could work by adding more CO2 to the blood) but that wasn’t working fast enough. I intuitively dropped to the floor in the nook of my altar (a place I designate for meditative movement and prayer). As a bonus, the blinds on the window were lifted enough for me to have a perfect view of the full moon. I latched onto that moon, felt the weight of my body completely held by the solid ground, and followed the movement of my breath with my hands placed on my belly. I began to sob as the panic subsided and my presence grew. As dramatic as the whole scene may have been, the tearful release of emotions too big to hold, feel or deal with actually put me to sleep. I stayed the night on the floor curled up in the fetal position.
Once I was able to anchor myself through embodiment, I felt safe and free to EXPRESS mainly through a whole lot of crying. I came to realize that heavy sobs were an indication that I was already on my way to feeling clearer, calmer and more collected again. I did my best to let that happen as much as it needed to (sunglasses were clutch!). Throughout my week of alarming palpitations, anxiety, interrupted sleep and overflowing tears, there were myriad byproducts of being in a state of depletion (e.g. digestive disruptions like heart burn, headaches, mental fogginess, muscle tension/pain, etc.). So, it became very clear that I needed to reach out for reinforcement and support.
I went with acupuncture, which always eases me into meditation, quiets my sympathetic nervous system, draws out anything that’s stagnant or stuck and boosts my body’s healing process. I booked a massage for myself with a trusted practitioner who specializes in intuitive and spiritual bodywork. With her, I’d be guided through talking first about the places in my body where grief, trauma and other emotional debris may be held and then treated to the most magical massage that would “put me the f*ck to sleep” (her literal words to me!). I also had a therapy session with a shamanic healer. This healer with whom I’ve been working for years incorporates talk therapy in her “earth-based medicine” process. And she wasn’t messing around when I showed up. We directly and verbally addressed my deepest fears and darkest shadows. I cried and talked, talked and cried, and cried some more. But, I started to express very clearly the grief, trauma and control that my body, mind and spirit were gripping for dear life. Once I got through that session, I felt ready to open up to others. I’m grateful to my siblings, best friend and healing guides for answering my calls.
A couple of days later, I began to think about elements of embodiment that are inherent part of the prenatal workouts I create for the BodyWiseMama community. Here’s why they are suited for more than preparing you for the physical demands of labor, birth and postpartum recovery.
I am always threading a mind/body connection throughout every class. This obviously goes for preconception and postpartum fitness as well. The BodyWiseMama method is intended to orient you through tangible sensations of solid ground, stability and strength (i.e. burning, quivering and fatiguing muscles). It’s designed to move you from where you are towards feeling more self-aware, empowered and energetic. My fitness philosophy for every stage of pregnancy is and has always been “mental health through the body.”
If you are trying to get through or recovering from a rough night filled with sleeplessness, anxiety, physical discomfort, etc, I invite you to STOP and DROP into this dose of movement medicine with me RIGHT NOW.
I’m with you on this roller coaster of a ride – from TTC to postpartum recovery – to help you gain a sense of control, steadiness and presence in your mind and body. Please rest assured that my classes are safe for all trimesters and fitness levels – wherever you are on your path of pregnancy and motherhood.
My own trying times – and hard-learned healing processes – are eventually fuel for the fire inside to help you. They inspire me to keep building this community of empowered women, to hold us all accountable to do our work – to rise and shine in authentic power. If you are at what I call a “critical point” of needing the utmost support to move through a trying time on your journey, you’re in the right place. We can move forward together.
Lastly, while TTC, I’ve had the pleasure and privilege of receiving the healing powers of private yoga/meditation sessions with Paige Chapman, owner of Mama’s Wellness Joint. She just opened registration for her virtual experience, Radiant One, that begins September 30th! I highly encourage you to look into this if you are seeking a spiritual renovation or upgrade at this stage of your journey. Don’t miss this golden opportunity to delve into the divine with Paige. For a limited time only, Paige is offering an EXCLUSIVE DISCOUNT for the BodyWiseMama community! Hop on over to my Instagram page to unlock the super secret promo code.
Now, go on: REST + REPEAT and call me in the morning.
